She Said What? Or Better Yet, What She Didn’t Say
Posted by Aaress Lawless on Oct 18, 2007 | Print |
In a sport where every word uttered from the mouth of a million dollar tennis player is psychoanalyzed for deeper meaning, we have heard some real gems drip from the lips of our favorite starlets.
Occasionally, we are deliciously enthralled by the subtle wit aimed at the media; other times we are cheered to realize that after all, they are humans just like the rest of us.
And on not so rare occasions, fans are left holding their heads in their hands, wondering what on earth possessed so-and-so to say something that incredibly ridiculous.
Especially when she knew millions of people would be reading about it before the end of the day.
On the flip side, despite what little tact some of tennis’ biggest stars may have, there are a few things that have never slipped out of their mouths. Sports Illustrated’s L. Jon Wertheim had a bit of fun in the November/December edition of Tennis Magazine, chronicling what we have never heard.
Here is just a sample:
“You weren’t ready? No prob, let’s play a let.” - Justine Henin
“That was a bad loss. But it won’t count against me, thanks to this best-of-17 ranking system. Whew, good thing I play so many events.” - Venus Williams
“And this is the room where I keep my singles trophies.” - Anna Kournikova
“Like Rush Limbaugh was saying . . . “ - Martina Navratilova
It will be hard to beat those, but here are a few of my own:
“At the end of the day, getting defeated by Justine Henin is just like any other loss. Besides, after eight losses, I’m starting to get used to it.” - Jelena Jankovic
“I’m running out of room on the mantel for Grand Slam trophies - anyone else want a turn?” - Serena Williams
“After long deliberation, I’ve decided that since I pay taxes in the United States, I might as well play Fed Cup alongside my closest friends Venus and Serena.” - Maria Sharapova
“Rain? What rain? It’s drier than the Sahara on Court 1.” - AELTC Officials
“Every time I set foot at Roland Garros, I feel as confident as Roger Federer playing Rafael Nadal on clay.” - Amelie Mauresmo
“I have never been overpowered by another player. In fact, the same game that I used in 1997 is working perfectly in 2007.” - Martina Hingis
If you enjoyed this tennis article, please sign up for a free subscription!
Will.I.Am | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Yours are a lot funnier than the guy from Sports Illustrated. His seem kinda passive agressive; more negative than humorous.
Some of yours were a low blow too (Poor Hingis). Or I lack a sense of humor.
Aaress | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Will, in reality, Hingis might actually be the first to admit (inwardly) that the game that worked a decade ago is not working for her now. She still has the brain and skills to dominate once again, but it will require a change in tactics.
Out of all of these, I think that one may be the only one that has a chance to come true. Unless of course, they add a roof to Court 1 at Wimbledon.
Marija | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Haha, I think that the absolute leader in funny statements is Jelena Jankovic. She just doesn’t stop surprising me (sometimes she makes me smile, and sometimes I think she should have kept her mouth shut). Anyway, I’m making a collection ridiculous things she said publicly.
Diane | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Actually, Jankovic really HAS said something similar, but perhaps even more self-deprecating, about her losses to Henin. My favorite was when she said she won a tournament because “Henin didn’t show up.”
I’ll add a few of my own:
“I played at a very high level today, but she was better.” Serena Williams
“I’d like to comment on that, but it’s none of my business.” Pam Shriver
“I’m thrilled to win, though I didn’t especially want to be here.” Ana Ivanovic
Aaress | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Jelena Jankovic is hilarious - and for the most part, she still has a good level of tact when it comes to expressing her opinions.
Pam Shriver likes to comment? You cannot be serious!
Nina | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Did Sharapova say that?
Aaress | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
No - this is just a list of what you would likely never hear from someone.
Sorry for any confusion Nina!
Dintweng | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Atleast its nice to hear those words,
I liked wat Sharapova said,
Mauresmo could have said ” I feel as confident as Rafael Nadal playing Roger Federer on clay.” coz its one of Rafael’s best surface and thats where he always beats Federer.
Venusfan | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Your Sharapova one was funny. here’s some of mine.
“I love the added excitment of playing in a final.” Svetlana Kuznetsova
“No thanks, I’ll go on screen without make-up today.” Tracey Austin
“No thats alright, keep the prize money. I have plenty.” Maria Sharapova
“I think British tennis is doing really well at the moment.” Anne Keothavong (she’s the british no.1 if you’ve never heard of her. i wouldn’t blame you if you hadn’t.)
Aaress | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
I have heard of Anne Keothavong, but I’ve never actually seen her play.
Question for you Venusfan, what’s your perspective on the lack of top women from the UK?
Venusfan | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
i dont think we have a very good system for nurturing young talent here in the UK. evidence of that is the fact Andy Murray had to go to spain to train in his teenage years. they’re trying to sort it out now with some high profile coaches joining the LTA. whether it will make a difference, we shall have to wait and see. Also I think we could have had a legitimate top 50 (at least) player in Elena Baltasha, if it wasnt for all her injury and illness problems.
Diane | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
One of the unfortunatel aspects of the UK’s campaign to develop players is its overt message to girls that you can “look sexy” and play tennis. God forbid any female athletes should not be “feminine” enough.
Aaress | Oct 22, 2007 | Reply
Venusfan,
Thanks for the input. It sounds as if the LTA is working hard at developing a solid junior program. Hopefully in the next decade we will see some good results.